"I had often dreamed of my first proper kiss, though the dreams had not contained a particular man, just a vague idea of one. The kiss itself, I knew all about. It would be tender and sweet and exciting all at once. It would make my knees go weak, and at the same time it would make me feel safe, and loved, and beautiful."

445. another survey, yay!

officialy, I'm bored (:

1. no ex.

2. I've never been actually drunk.

3. hum, I really want to kiss someone

4. he just got inked

5. currently, awkward

6. "yeah sure, me too"

7. a friend of mine getting really hurt on arcade games

8. the only concert worth telling about, that I've been to is Korn

9. don't have one yet

10. my confy confy pjs (:

11. currently, Hero by Regina Spektor

12. he was in one of my classes in college, but I supposedly met him before, he was in my brother's grade and his sister was a friend of mine.

13. going to Xela and meeting Alex

14. getting high on a hotel room with a few friends, then going out

15. none

16. badass attitude, tattoos, skin

17. a few awkward silences with a friend of mine

18. not really a quote I llive by, but it's one that came to mind: "do what you love and fuck the rest"

19. I met her because she wanted to hookup with a friend of mine, and the first time I spoke to her she asked me for my phone number and email, then called me on monday. weirdddd

20. I don't care.

21. yawn

22. you can google them (:

23. not really

24. I don't think you should lie to someone, if you don't want to be in a exclusive relationship, you should tell them.

25. it's on my phone

26. on twitter: 203

27. yawn, I'm watching the simpsons and I'm too lazzy to open iTunes

28. don't have any tumblr friends

29. I have a print screen of the cutest thing someone's ever written on my wall

30. being robbed.

 

s u r v e y

this has become my survey blog or something... 

1. Do you have a ‘thing’ with someone?

nope.
2. Do you have any hickeys/bruises on your body?

I have a bruise on my stomach and a few on my legs, don't remember how I got them tho.
3. Have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed?

doesn't that happens all the time?
4. Who was the last person you spoke to last night before bed?

Sindy, we're so gay.
5. Do you believe what goes around comes around?

not by some magical god-like power, but because I believe in consequences.
6. Where is your mother right now?

downstairs,
7. Have you been to any concerts this summer?

only local shows.
8. Have you ever been to a concert?

yes, last one was Korn.
9. How many schools have you been to?

only one through kindergarden, elementary, middle and high school was the same, and now college.
10. What do your socks look like?

black
11. Have you ever read a Harry Potter book?

all seven of them
12. Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

not really
13. Have you ever left your country?

yes, a few times
14. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with L?

nope.
15. How many times have you cried in a person’s arms?

not that many
16. Do you enjoy wearing dresses?

yeah, depends on my mood, but yeah
17. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

sleeping
18. Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

no idea
19. Have you broken the law in the last three days?

just did, baby
20. What are you excited about?

NY trip, NY trip!!!!
21. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house?

saddly, not that many times
22. Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Idk.
23. What if you had a baby with the last person you texted?

no thanks
24. Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

nope
25. When was the last time you threw up?

hum, can't remember
26. Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?

yeah, it's the same I graduated from
27. How was the beginning of this year for you?

I was a bit happier and excited about many things
28. How do you think the year will end for you?

hopefully, better (:

another survey, 'cause it's my blog...

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? 

I can only think of the last time he said "I love you" and I don't think he did, at all. Even tho his friends continue to say he did.
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

I'm 21, that would be a bit messed up.
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

ugh, I think it was about the same time he was on my life. weird feeling.
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

If he's cute, yeah, I guess, but usually I'm very awkward and insecure when it comes to strangers.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I'm not dating/talking to anyone, so hopefully not.
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

honestly, no
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

pjs.
8. How often do you listen to music?

everyday, mainly while I'm driving.
9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans, maybe.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?

I hope so, New York trip is comming up, and I hope I do stuff I've never done before.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

a bit of both.
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

nope. On retrospective, I'd like to say I had kissed Alex.
13. What about ‘R’?

nope.
14. Can you drive a stick shift?

the only way I know how to drive.
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

I'd like to say I don't but I honestly do, not that it makes a big difference but it is annoying

16. Are you going out of town soon?

yup, going to new york on 12/20
17. When was the last time you cried?

saturday
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

I guess so, romantically only once.
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

probably make them blue
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

not right now
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

it's going a bit slow
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

aw, yep I love them. (again, last person to do that = him)
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

nope, not dating anyone atm
24. What are you sitting on right now?

my bed.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Diego, my closesth male friend does
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

doesn't that happens to everyone?
27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Sindy
28. Do you get a lot of colds?

nope, I'm healthy as can be
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Bershka I think
30. Does anyone hate you?

I guess so, I'm only human
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

no... why would I?
32. Do you like watching scary movies?

nope, hate them. If you make me watch one, I'll make you sleep with me.
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

nope. don't find tongue piercings attractive.
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

hum, probably when I was 9 or 11
35. Did you have a dream last night?

I guess so, don't remember it tho.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

ugh, last night maybe?
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

hopefully not, I'm too young.
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

don't think so.
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

hopefully.
40. Did you have a good day yesterday? 

it was ok.

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

nope.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

I guess, maybe Sindy.
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

yes, in a friendly way
44. What’s the best part about school?

hum, my friends?
45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

yup, feel free to check them out.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

yep, to Andrea mainly
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

over and over. Like to torture myself, seems I'm pretty good at that too.
48. Were you single over the last summer?

I was single, yet interested in someone.
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

somewhat
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

sleeping, maybe
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

nope, he's my best mate.
52. Are you nice to everyone?

not really.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

oh hell yeah, probably liked him better than anyone else I ever did.
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

I don't see myself as the cheating type.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

pretty great, not to brag.
56. Do you think you like someone?

liking is such a strong word.
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

close, but no.
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

I have more friends that are girls, but boys are cooler.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

lots of them, I'm a mess.
60. Do you hate anyone?

nope.
61. How’s your heart?

it's okay, finally.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

usually my dad related stuff turns pretty awkward when telling them.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

shamefully, yes.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

people? I hope no one, I'm not nearly that interesting to be talking about.
65. Are your toenails painted pink?

hot pink to be exact
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

hopefully not.
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

nooo, that's just mean
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

no, lol
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

sindy, a few minutes ago
70. How do you look right now?

like shit (:
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

my friends usually
72. Can you commit to one person?

I'd like to think so.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Diego is pretty close to be that person.
74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yeah, not a good feeling tho.
75. Did you wake up cranky?

if you wake me up, yeah. If I wake up by myself it's less likely for me to be cranky.
76. Are you a jealous person?

maybe, but I won't be showing you I am
77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yeah, they are.
78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

maybe I already have.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

I just want to randomly bump into him, don't know why
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

wake up?
81. Last person you cried in front of?

my grandma
82. Is there someone you will never forget?

I don't believe in regreting or hating someone just because you don't love them anymore or they don't love you.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

I don't have feelings for anyone tbh.
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

making out hopefully lol
85. Are you over your past?

don't know what the point of doing would be.
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

yes.
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

I guess Sindy is the closest person to that
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

nope, haven't spoke to him in over 6 years now.
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

yeah, would be a pretty long flight just to be here.
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

they didn't hate him, just didn't aprove him to be with me
91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

don't think so
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

no, but one of my closest friends goes by "Mike", his real name is Andres
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

nope, don't even know a Matthew
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was hoping so, we don't speak anymore
95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

I don't even remember if I still liked him by march, but no I wasn't happy.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

last person to text me was facebook, and that's a pretty hunky it if you ask me.
97. Who do you have texts from?

lots of people.
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I don't like anyone.
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

he was my age.
100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

my couch.
101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

no, but it would be nice to do so.
102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? 

sort of, I felt like my heart dropped to the floor every time I saw him. In a good way.

 

well hello there, this is me (:

you're the smell before rain, you're the blood in my veins

When someone you love dies, and you’re not expecting it, you don’t lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over time — the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. When the day comes — when there’s a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she’s gone, forever — there comes another day, and another specifically missing part.

John Irving

survey.

 

I'll be answering this, 'cause I'm bored and shit :D

 

1. I have never had a boyfriend (lame, I know) but I seriously don't know why things didn't work out with the last guy I showed interest to. I wish I did, 'cause there was a time that it could have eaten me alive. 

2. Brand New, just cause I have listened to them since I was like 14.

the bands I currently listen to the most are: arctic monkeys, born ruffians, cut off your hands, tv on the radio, bloc party, los campesinos!, the kooks, among many others...

3. No I wish I could say so, but hopefully I'm going to Brand New's on Atlantic City by the end of the year. *fingers crossed*

4. I seriously have no romantic interest in any human being, nor do I like anyone atm. 

5. if I told you, I'd probably have to kill you ;)

6. Well, her name is Sindy, she's 20 and she's my best friend because she's the girl I spend the most time with.

7. If I had to pick just one, I'd say Forrest Gump

8. Straight

9. Not really, don't enjoy doing it so... 

10. yup, I have a swallow bird on the back of my neck and a few piercings on my ears

11. I'm 21 and still don't know.

12. they're pretty cool, I guess

13. I don't actually feel loved nor wanted

14. Attitude, tattoos, smarts

15. why don't you guess?

16. Zara

17. they're hazzle

18. I don't hate school, I never did. My school was pretty great, if you ask me. And I'm college now.

19. absolutely single.

20. Hero - Regina Spektor

21. I hate pools with animals on their floors, hate them!

22.  16, fml

23.  somewhere fun, anywhere... Amsterdam would be pretty cool

24. I couldn't just pick one, but at the top of my head, the first time my cousin defended me from another kid

25. I am very quiet, once you get to know me and I feel more comfortable with you (one on one) you'll see a different side of me

26. hum, probably just going to a nice music show, staying there for a bit to drink and chat, driving back home and staying just talking and whatnot...

27. hum, ugly comments on strangers

28. last sat.

29. not that many.

30.  n/a

31. I already am.

32. pretty good, just played some random online game about a sushi eating cat. 

Volverán las oscuras golondrinas

Volverán las oscuras golondrinas
en tu balcón sus nidos a colgar,
y, otra vez, con el ala a sus cristales
jugando llamarán;
pero aquéllas que el vuelo refrenaban           
tu hermosura y mi dicha al contemplar,
aquéllas que aprendieron nuestros nombres...
ésas... ¡no volverán! 

Volverán las tupidas madreselvas
de tu jardín las tapias a escalar,               
y otra vez a la tarde, aun más hermosas,
sus flores se abrirán;
pero aquéllas, cuajadas de rocío,
cuyas gotas mirábamos temblar
y caer, como lágrimas del día...                 
ésas... ¡no volverán!

Volverán del amor en tus oídos
las palabras ardientes a sonar;
tu corazón, de su profundo sueño
tal vez despertará;                       
pero mudo y absorto y de rodillas,
como se adora a Dios ante su altar,
como yo te he querido..., desengáñate:
¡así no te querrán! 

- Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer 

Music Survey.

1. what are you 5 favourite songs right now?

no order:

- my drive thru > Santogold, N.E.R.D. & Julian Casablanca

- Lina Magic > 3D Friends

- Tighten Up > Black Keys

- Flourescent Adolescent > Arctic Monkeys

- Animals > Baths
*doesn't necessarily means I just discovered them, just that I'm currently listening to them passionately (:

2. what is the most played song on your iTunes?

Animals > Baths 

3. what song are you listening to right now?

Farewell to fairground > White lies

4. what was the last album you bought?

I think the last time I bought an album I was 14, don't remember which one it was.

5. what was the last gig you went to?

 Los Mojarras @ Noches de lucha

6. what song can you not get out of your head?

currently, rollin' by Limp Bizkit (old as fuck)

7. what song do you listen to everyday?

it really depends on my mood, but anything by brand new  is always good

8. what was the first album you ever brought?

By myself, Sum 41 - Does this look infected?
I was about 12

9. what was the last single you downloaded?

According to my iTunes thingy, Signs by Bloc Party

10. who is your favourite band right now?

My old time favorites: brand new, fall out boy & blink 182

but I pretty much always listen to:

Bloc Party

Arctic Monkeys

The Kooks

TV on the Radio

Born Ruffians

Cut off your hands

Los Campesinos!

11. who is your favourite artist right now?

Lily Allen

Backseat goodbye

Brighteyes

12. what is your favourite type of music?

I honestly listen to so many things, but I'm a sucker for accoutic stuff

13. in your 25 most played songs what is #10?

Situations > Escape the fate

14. Quote one of your favourite lyrics.

"you're the smell before rain, you're the blood in my veins"

 

15. do you listen to music everyday?

yup, while driving, when I take showers, when I'm online...

There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just mean you love them. Sometimes in spite of who they are, and sometimes because of who they are. And you know that they love you, sometimes because of who you are, and sometimes in spite of it.

-Laurell K. Hamilton

There are two kinds of love.

"There are two kinds of love. In the safe kind, you look for someone who’s exactly like you. It’s what most folks settle for. But then there’s the other kind of love. Everyone’s born with a ragged edge, and some folks crave for that piece that’s a perfect fit. You’ll search for it forever if you have to. And if you’re lucky enough to find it, and because it looks so right, you start to tear at your own seams, thinking, maybe I could look just as perfect. But then, of course, when you try to get close to the other half, you don’t fit anymore. That kind of love.. you come out of it a different person than you were when you started." - Jodi Picoult

I've found that the saddest people are also the funniest 

and only those who understand complexity can communicate simplicity.

Ask Zebra a question...

"To be seen, above all else. I wanted to be noticed, and the way I lived and do live has a desperate neurosis about it because of that. All humans need a degree of attention. Some people get it at the right time, when they are 13 or 14, people get loved at the right stages. If this doesn’t happen, if the love isn’t there, you can quite easily just fade away. … In a sense I always felt that being troubled as a teenager was par for the course. I wasn’t sure that I was dramatically unique. I knew other people who were at the time desperate and suicidal. They despised life and detested all other living people. In a way that made me feel a little bit secure. Because I thought, well, maybe I’m not so intense after all. Of course, I was. I despised practically everything about human life, which does limit one’s weekend activities."

 

 

— Steven Morrissey

This paper trail leads right back to you

"We should write as we dream; we should even try and write, we should all do it for ourselves, it’s very healthy, because it’s the only place where we never lie. At night we don’t lie. Now if we think that our whole lives are built on lying-they are strange buildings-we should try and write as our dreams teach us; shamelessly, fearlessly, and by facing what is inside very human being-sheer violence, disgust, terror, shit, invention, poetry. In our dreams we are criminals; we kill, and we kill with a lot of enjoyment. But we are also the happiest people on earth; we make love as we never make love in life."

 

— Hélène Cixous