there is a lot I'd like to say to you.
A lot I'd like to admit through lost kisses and interwined limbs.
whispers lingering on my skin just begging to be let go of.
A lot of kisses hanging on my lips (patiently)
some things I'd like to scream at you, out of anger, loneliness.
out of everything that's happened, or hasn't happened.
there are a lot of secrets I'd like to share with you.
secrets late at night, through the dark, inbetween stars and yawns and eyelashes.
there is so much.

1. Hi I'm
2. I am terrified of
3. I like
4. I have
5. I’m a
6. I have an awful habit of
7. I live
8. I’m a sucker for
9. I’m going
10. I have
11. I post pictures of

1. Hi I’m viacely
2. I am terrified of roaches

3. I like mind night conversations

4. I have hazel eyes
5. I’m am addict to my iPod

6. I have an awful habit of biting the inside of my mouth

7. I live in a small city

8. I’m a sucker for cute boys with acoustic guitars

9. I’m going to move to Europe someday

10. I have an obsession with brand new

11. I post pictures of things I find attractive or beautiful

Confessions of a philophobiac

       I’m afraid to like you,

      Because I may fall in love,

      I’m afraid to fall in love,

      Because I may get hurt,

      I’m afraid to get hurt,

      Because of the pain,

      I’m afraid of the pain,

      Because of the scars,

      I’m afraid of the scars,

      Because they may bleed,

      I’m afraid of the blood,

      Because I may die,

      I’m afraid to die,

      Because I may survive,

      I’m afraid to survive,

      Because I may let you in,

      And the cycle starts all over again.

-Ashlie Nicholle Haines

THE QUIET THINGS THAT NO ONE EVER KNOWS

 this is me, earlier today. w/e.

the words could not leave my fingertips fast enough.

the only way I know of letting things out is by writting, I guess I'm good with words or something,

and that line from a fall out boy song comes to mind, and I'm distracted, and it seems like my thoughts run too fast for my fingertips to catch up with, and tears run and I don't know why I'm crying.

I guess I do, but I don't know how or from where.

there's a lot of ands in this post or however you want to call it,

fucking msn screen is shinning, and they don't know it but they're not who I want to talk to,

and I can't talk to you, you, you, you, you, you

always you, huh?

you're never around when you're supposed to, you're never around when I want you,

and I've been around for days now, and you, you you you you never come back, not even to see if I'm waiting.

And tonight's the night I give up, and I'm crying, I guess it makes me sad

and tonight's the night I promised myself I wouldn't speak of you, or think of you (that I can't help) or check your facebook page... tonight's the night it ends for me.

I'm done sitting around and waiting for shit to happen, but I don't know how to make them happen.

I haven't done one of this in a while

Have you seen the last person you texted naked? 
I think that was Sophie, so no

Will tomorrow be better than today?
I hope so, today was pretty good tho.

What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? 
lower lip

What is your current mood? 
I'm tired, a bit

Would you ever get a tattoo? 
I have one in the back of my neck, and I want to get more

What are you listening to? 
Project Runway is on tv now

Do you know anyone that smokes pot? 
lol, a whole bunch of people I know do

Is there someone who you can spend every minute with and not get annoyed?
I guess so, I dunno

What color shirt are you wearing? 
dark blue with some gray

What’s something that upset you today? 
traffic in general

Your current relationship status? 
Single

Do you get along with girls? Yeah, I have a lot of friends who are girls, I went to an all-girls school

Do your parents allow you to date? 
I don't think they get to have a say in that


When was the last time you cleaned your room? 
Like past week or so

Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?
Sindy on the phone

How is the weather right now? 
coldish

What do you always take with you? 
money, phone, make up

Do you regret anything you did today? 
Nope

Have you ever had a serious conversation with your mum? 
all the time

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I guess so

What is something you really want right now? 
dfadfqthisboyandyeah

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? 
Oh yeah, she said I hacked her fb page and a lot of shit, which I didn't. And we didn't spoke for months, when she finally found out who did it, she didn't apologized just tried to talk to me like nothing happend.

What do you think about the person you hate most? 
I don't think I hate anyone, hating is such a waste of time, I do think I dislike some people

What is the last thing you used your own money for? 
um, clothes

Can you tell when something bad is going to happen? 
Sometimes, I hate that feeling of dread you get in your stomach

Would you rather have long or short hair? 
I want it to be longer right now

Can you write with both hands? 
somewhat

Has someone of the opposite sex told you they loved you and meant it? 
I don't know

How’s your heart lately?uneasy

Does anyone hate you?
Probably

How did you get your last bruise?I don't remember

Who is in your house right now? 
mom & my brother

Do you want to have children? 
One day  in the future

What are you doing tomorrow? 
I have no idea

Who’s the first “D” in your contacts? 
David

Do you have a reason to smile right now? 
I guess so

Who was the last person to text you? 
Sophie

What did it say?
an inside joke

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with? 
Um either Brett or Jk

What are you wearing on your feet? 
docks

Do you think that the person you like feels the exact same way you do? 
I do think he likes me, just I don't know how much

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? 
Kensie

How long does it take for you to shower?15 minutes or so

Is the last person you hugged older? 
yup

Has anyone gotten on your nerves lately? 
traffic and people in general

Last night, did you fall asleep smiling? 
I don't think so, lol

Are you afraid of change? 
as any other human been

Who woke you up? 
my alarm clock

What time did you wake up this morning? 6:45 am, I had breakfast with some friends (:

"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever ? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life."

I don't want to be lonely anymore :(

blog

Well, this blog isn't supposed to be read by anyone I know in real life or something like that, because it's my escape. I let things out here I would never let people know.

Some people have the link of some notes & stuff, but I don't expect them to be any more interested than to read that one note or just look around, I hope they don't read much, I would hate to know someone out there knows exactly what's going through my head, like when someone mentions they've looked at my tumblr I feel extremely embarrased and giddy, lol (what a great combination, right?) well, yeah, I'd hate if I knew someone out there could read right through me.

This post comes to an other matter, I have no car today 'cause it's in repair, and I just finished watching the social network movie on dvd (yupp, pirates). But anyway, I was thinking about how when you first meet a person you can imagine who they are and pick up on some characteristics of their own and you know, picture somewhat kind of person they are. But after a while you start talking, really talking, and get to deeper matters, like their dreams, families, hopes, if they've ever been in love. And when we hit that topic is when everything changes. I've never been kissed nor had a real boyfriend, which completely sucks me being 20 and all. And when I get to that point with a person, everything changes, they don't see me the same way.

I've read somewhere this statement and it seems to fit the profile: "if you have sex you're a slut, if you don't you're a priutt". After people know this little fact about me, I'm no longer a regular person, I'm a boring dull one. And I fucking hate that.x

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT.

When Harry met Ron

Like a proud father, David Heyman, the producer of the Harry Potter films, reached for a box of photographs when a visitor asked him about the young stars of the history-making franchise.

 

“They are not my own children, obviously, but they are like nephews and nieces or perhaps godchildren, and I feel really protective of them,” Heyman said as he sat in his office at the converted aviation factory here that serves as the movie set for the Potter series.

“Here, look at this one — this is a photo taken the day the boys met. No one’s really seen this before. They were taking a little walk together to get know one another…”

The black-and-white snapshot showed Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint as chubby-cheeked adolescents strolling side by side, their eyes cast down to their shadows. Heyman took the photo in 2000.

 

“Kev was like my brother – we would have done anything for each other. We said that whoever died first, the other one had to wear a pink dress with green spots to the funeral – and we shook on it. It was mainly his idea and the more I think about it, I’m sure Kevin knew something was going to happen. I looked for the exact dress but couldn’t find one anywhere. I eventually picked up the green one in Primark and bought the pink pop socks to make it look even sillier. It’s what Kev would have wanted. Kev told his whole family about the pact, so I couldn’t back out. I had a word with him at the graveside and asked if he liked the color I’m sure I could hear laughter coming out of the ground. Kev was a true hero and someone I’m proud to call my best mate.”

note

rules

by Jac Vanek

1. always catch the clock at 11:11

2. write handwritten letters

3. love recklessly

4. find beauty in everything

5. make a stranger smile

6. notice the little things

7. give someone a real mixtape

8. dance in the rain

9. never give up on yourself

10. don't be afraid to come alive

11. the answers are everywhere

12. you are invincible

Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me. 

--Meredith Grey

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

-- Alex Karev

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. 

-- Meredith Grey

You wanna play the game?

it's like this:

you play around, you have fun, you share secrets, you tell stories, you cry on each other's shoulders, you hold hands, you think about forever.

But you don't fall in love, because the first one who does, loses.

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

—	Marilyn Monroe

When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.
Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

you.

Gazing: Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table, or a person. When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above. The gaze can also be defocused, looking at the general person. Looking at a person’s mouth can indicate that you’d like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicate a desire to make sweet, sweet love to them. Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (take note to where the gaze lingers…) Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is “inside their head”, thinking about other things. It’s difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. 

Glancing: Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example, glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave. Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk to them. It can also indicate a concern for that person’s feeling when something is said that might upset them. Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period. 

Staring: Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone. Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly after hearing unexpected news. When the eyes are defocused, the person’s attention may be inside their heads and what they’re staring at may be of no significance. (Thus, the embarrassing moments that can follow afterwards). Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate, or deceptive. Staring at another’s eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action. A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would like to stare more, but knows that it’s impolite. 

Following: The eye will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest, then they’ll naturally keep looking at it. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat. 

Squinting: Narrowing of a person’s eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or not fully so). It can similarly indicate uncertainty. Squinting can also be used by liars who don’t want the other person to detect their deception. When a person thinks about something and doesn’t want to look at the internal image, they may squint involuntarily. Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate sleepiness. Lowering eyelids whilst looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and puckering the lips. 

Blinking: Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare. Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected often black at the same rate.  A single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see. Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying “I’m too good to even look at you.” Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy and romantic invitation. 

Winking: A deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial schemes. Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is a reminiscent of a small wave of the hand.
Closing: Closing the eyes shuts out the world. Sometimes, when people are talking, they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored. Visual thinkers may close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better so the internal images without external distractions.

5 Life Lessons From High School Movies

by Matt McDaniel

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)
“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.” - Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez)

HEATHERS (1989)
“If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.” - Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999)
“Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you can treat people like they don’t matter.” - Cameron James (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

MEAN GIRLS (2004)
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter… All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” - Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan)

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF (1986)
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” - Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)

Fuck society. Fuck normality. Get piercings. Get tattoos. Do drugs. Get high. Drink ‘till you pass out. Have sex. Love with all your heart. Play the music loud. Live your fucking life. Fuck what people expect of you. Do what makes you happy.

"When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you’ve been searching for all these years."

A list of things about me you never asked for.

Why?

because why the hell not?

plus I'm bored and inspired :)

1. My mom used to read me The Picture of Dorian Gray for bedtime when I was a child.

yup, if you don't know what it is about, well it's about a young man who faces that someday he might not be beautiful anymore, he sells his soul to the devil to stay young forever, only if he kept a picture of himself. Well he grows sick of people dying after decades and ends up destroying the picture and dying of old age (:

yep, my mommy read that to me, lol

2. I love hugging people taller than me, makes me feel small and stuff.

I absolutely adore when someone's hands are way bigger than me, and putting our hands against each others.

3. Awkward hugs

4. Hot Chai Tea early in the morning

5. Midnight texting or 3am calls

6. I don't like chocolate or candy as much as I like salty stuff

7. Singing badly along loud music while driving

8. Quoting movies (Mean Girls, Hangover, etc) or South Park

9. Inside jokes that make no sense at all to other people 

10. Forsmpring.me questions or tumblrask saying how wonderful my blog is (yep I'm giddy)

11. Random iTunes playlists

12. Mix cds made for me!

13. Staying up really late to talk to friends, when conversations are nice

14. Boys with tattoos and piercings (mostly plugs)

15. I have nothing against Lady Gaga, but it's her fans that annoy me a whole lot, she's not that original, she's a product. And I refuse to watch her videos.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?'`

I don't think that's something you can answer, it's rethorical. It's a statement. Anyway I'm going to comment on it, I think it's a two way thing, you're never alone, I will quote C. Palahniuk to explain a little bit further: "nothing about me is original, I am the conbined effort about everybody I've ever known"
and it's sort of true, you're not an original and unic snow flake, you were trained by society to think a certain way, whatever you think a thousand people have thought about it before you. And my decitions, I was trained to want them that way, it's not an isolated act of my own creation, I don't do it alone.

knock yourself out, x

She talked softly and thoughtfully, like she was telling me a secret, and I leaned in toward her, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that we must kiss, that we ought to kiss right now on the dusty orange couch with its cigarette burns and its decades of collected dust. And I would have: I would have kept leaning toward her until it became necessary to tilt my face so as to miss her ski-slope nose, and I would have felt the shock of her so-soft lips. I would have. But then she snapped out of it.

--Looking for Alaska - John Green

are you planning to get any more tattoos?

sure, I mean, not in any time soon. I plan on getting them in the few years to come. I want a feather or something on my left side, like in my ribs. I want to get something in my wrists, and a colorful flowers on my ancles. But that's about it for now, I don't know if I'm into heavily tattooed bodies, nor if I want that for myself.

knock yourself out, x

I WONDER WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO KISS YOU.

#but that's a secret.

arenita

You get a text at 4AM saying “come outside.” What do you do?
it actually depends on who the text is fromWhen was the last time you were scared?
hum, I don't remember
Have you changed at all in the past three months?
i guess so?
Is anyone mad at you right now?
I don't know
Plans for tomorrow?
family is comming over for me & my brother's birthday
Are you a heavy sleeper?
oh yes
Do you like the town you are living in?
sure
Someone says to you now, ‘lets go to a party and get drunk!’ you say?
I'd ask a lot of details and prolly go
Have you smoked a cigarette today?
I don't smoke
So what do you want for christmas?
xmas is months away, I don't even want to think
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
Um, prolly like 7

 Have you ever kissed anyone with a tongue ring?
nope :)
Can you cross your eyes? 
yupppp
Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person?
oh yeah, it sucks
Have you ever tripped over a parking thingy?
erm not that i can think of?
What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today?
I hung out with some old high school friends
Does it bother you when someone hides things from you?
yes, i doooo!
Are you a morning person or a night person?
nighttt
Is it bad to be a forgiving person?
It depends, I guess
How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
I don't drink
Last thing to truly upset you?
this conversation about this kid I have a thing for
Do you swallow gum when you’re done with it?
ew, nope. It stays in your tummy for at least 7 days!
Last person to upset you?
no one really

Day 30

One last moment

Well yeah, this is the moment that has been going through my head since last friday (gosh, a week)

I've even asked other boys what it means, and yeah I'm hoplessly inlove with it.

I went to your party, and you kissed my forehead.

that! there I said it :D

Someday I'm going to regreat this, won't I?

yupp.

—-your boy side—-
you love hoodies.
you love jeans.
dogs are better than cats.
it’s hilarious when people get hurt.
shopping is torture.
sad movies suck.
you own a car racing game.
you played with hot wheels cars as a kid.
at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
you used to be obsessed with power rangers.
you have watched sports on tv.
gory movies are cool.
you go to your dad for advice.
you own like a trillion baseball caps.
you used to collect hockey cards.
baggy sweats are cool to wear.
it’s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors or all.
you love to go crazy and not care what people think.
sports are fun.
you talk with food in your mouth.
you sleep with your socks on at night.
you have fished at least once.

—-your girl side—-
you love to shop.
you wear eyeliner.
you wear the color pink.
you go to your mom to talk.
you consider cheerleading a sport.
you hate wearing the color black.
you like going to the mall.
you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
you like wearing jewelry.
you cried watching the notebook.
skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
you don’t like the movie star wars.
you are/were in gymnastics.
it takes you at least one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
you smile a lot more than you should.
you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
you care about what you look like.
you like wearing dresses when you can.
you like wearing high heel shoes.
you used to play with dolls as little kid.
you like putting make-up on others.
you like being the star of everything.
pink is one of your favorite colors.

—appearance—
i am shorter than 5’2
i have a scar
i tan/burn easily
i wish my hair was a different color.
i have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
i have a tattoo.
i am self-conscious about my appearance.
i’ve had/have braces. 
i’ve been told i’m attractive by a complete stranger.
i have more than two piercings.
i have / had piercings in places besides my ears.

—embarrassment—
i’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.
disney movies still make me cry.
i’ve laughed so hard i’ve cried.
i’ve glued my hand to something.
i’ve laughed ’til some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
i’ve had my pants rip in public.

—health—
i’ve gotten stitches.
i’ve had my appendix removed.
i’ve sat in a doctor’s office with a friend.
i’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
i’ve had serious surgery.
i’ve had chicken pox.

—experiences—
i’ve gotten lost in my city.
i’ve seen a shooting star.
i’ve wished on a shooting star.
i’ve seen a meteor shower.
i’ve gone out in public in my pajamas.
i’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
i’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.
i’ve been to a casino.
i’ve been skydiving.
i’ve gone skinny-dipping.
i’ve drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
i’ve crashed/rolled a car .
i’ve been skiing.
i’ve been in a musical.
i’ve caught a snowflake or snow on my tongue.
i’ve seen the northern lights.
i’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
i’ve played a prank on someone.
i’ve ridden in a taxi.
i’ve seen the rocky horror picture show.
i’ve eaten sushi.
i’ve been snowboarding.

—relationships—
i’m single.
i’m in a relationship.
i’m engaged.
i’m married.
i miss someone right now.
i’ve gotten divorced.
i’ve told someone i loved them when i didn’t.
i’ve told someone i didn’t love them when i did.

—honesty / crime—
i’ve done something i promised someone else i wouldn’t.
i’ve done something i promised myself i wouldn’t.
i’ve snuck out.
i’ve lied to my parents about where i am.
i’ve cheated while playing a game.
i’ve ran a red light
i’ve been in a fist fight.
i’ve been arrested.

—death and suicide—
i’m afraid of dying.
i hate funerals.
i’ve seen someone / something dying.
someone close to me has attempted / committed suicide.
you have planned your own suicide.
i’ve written a eulogy for myself.

—materialism—
i own over 5 rap cd’s.
i have an unhealthy obsession with anime / manga.
i own designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
i own something from pac sun.
i own something from the gap.
i own something i got on e-bay.
i own something from abercrombie.

—random—
i can sing well.
stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
open up to others easily.
i watch the news.
i don’t kill bugs.
i sing in the shower.
i am a morning person.
i paid for my cell phone ring tone.
i am a sports fanatic.
i twirl my hair.
i care about grammar.
i have “?”’s in my screen name.
i love spam.
i’ve copied more than 30 cd’s in a day.
i bake well.
my favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red, blue, black, purple, or orange.
i would wear pajamas to school.
i like martha stewart.
i know how to shoot a gun.
i am guilty of typing LiKe tHiS.
i laugh at my own jokes.
i eat fast food weekly.
i’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
i can’t sleep if there is a spider in the room.
i am really ticklish.
i like white chocolate.
i bite my nails.
i’m good at remembering faces.
i’m good at remembering names.
i’m good at remembering dates.
i honestly have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.

Day 29

 Your aspirations

I don't think having any kind of expectations is okay, because it leads to hoping, which always ends with a broken heart.

But I'd like to make an indie movie that will show up in the sundance.

I'd like to fall in love, and live happily ever after.

Think how many people have sat next to you on a bus, train, whatever. Now think how many people have sat next to you on purpose, with their fingers crossed in hope that you’ll talk to them. I’m sure somebody has. There’s plenty of times when somebody’s seen you and hoped that you spoke to them, but you never did, ‘cause you don’t have the guts, and neither do they. Don’t go around thinking nobody likes you and that you’re not loved, there’s been plenty of times when a stranger’s spotted you and thought “oh they’re just my type,” but haven’t had the courage or confidence to open their mouth and initiate a conversation, the funny thing is, neither have you.

 

-Anonymous

coin.x

“ When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you, but because, in that brief moment when the coin is in the air, you suddenly know what you are hoping for. ”

Day 28

Something that you miss

Oh God, I miss a whole bunch of things, but I'll start with this:
I miss high school at times, I miss moments with my classmates and gossip with my bffs. 
I miss being young and feeling like I had everything ahead of me.
I miss hesitating about my future, not even knowing what to do with my college stuff.
I miss having friends and talking to strangers without thinking too much of the consequences.
I miss feeling invicible, and that nothing bad could happen, "those things happen to other people, not me" kinda way
I miss liking people, I miss my youth and the parts of it that I missed out on.

I think I like you in a 'I wanna be alone in a dark place with you' kinda way 

secret.

I know I haven't post much of me lately, I mean, not things that I've written, but lately I just don't know what to write anymore. I am scarred of my thoughts and my feelings ashame me.

Lately, really loud hardcore music is the only thing that can keep my thoughts from catching up to me, that can tune the world out, and keep my feelings shut.

But I think I'm a bit better now, and I'm not in love with the world, but I'm at peace with it.

And that's okay, for now.

-------------------------------------------- 

Here are some thought that been running around my head for the past few days, I've been thinking of sweet things the perfect boy could do :)

it's okay to dream, right?

Well here is the list:

-he'd show up out of nowhere at random places at randome times just to see me 

-he'd call me at 3am just to ask what I'm doing

-Would burn me mix cds with music he's currently into

-would call just to say "hey, I miss you" and hung up

-would kiss my forehead for no aparent reason

-would play/sing songs to me :)

-would send random texts with random things, ha

-would come over just to watch movies

-would look for french movies to watch with me

-we'd stay in bed all day

-would hug me when I'm cold

I don't know, that's it for now... I guess

Day 26 - 27

Your fears

To be vulnerable to someone. And I can sum it up in this quote:

"I found it hard to be in love. Thats only because i didn’t want to fall in love. I refused to lower my walls down. I was too afraid of getting hurt. Once you open yourself up to someone, there’s a chance things won’t go the way you intended, and you will be left broken. I wasn’t ready to feel empty, not just yet."

 Your favorite place

I don't think it's a physicall place, maybe it's just some space in my mind. 
I think I could be happy anywhere with the right person :)

If I were.

If I were a month, I’d be October
If I were a day of the week, I’d be Thursday
If I were a time of day, I’d be 3 am
If I were a planet, I’d be Saturn
If I were a sea creature, I’d be a White Bengala Tiger
If I were a direction, I’d be Southeast
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be a Bed
If I were a historical figure, I’d be somoene people don't know about
If I were a liquid, I’d be Raspberry tea
If I were a gemstone, I’d be an Idgaf
If I were a tree, I’d be a leafless one
If I were a tool, I’d be a hammer
If I were a flower, I’d be a one of those that looks like cocks, lol
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be Autumn
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a bass guitar
If I were a color, I’d be grey
If I were an emotion, I’d be sorrow
If I were a fruit, I’d be a banana.
If I were a sound, I’d be the sound of silence
If I were an element, I’d be Fire
If I were a car, I’d be a jeep
If I were a food, I’d be chocolate cake
If I were a place, I’d be Anywhere but here
If I were a material, I’d be knitted sweater
If I were a taste, I’d be Bittersweet
If I were a scent, I’d be Vanilla
If I were an object, I’d be a Notebook
If I were a body part, I’d be the hands
If I were a facial expression, I’d be a Smirk.
If I were a song, I’d be any Brand New song
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be tennis shoes

survey.

This is going to be majorly personal, you ready?  

indeed

Promise to take this without deleting any questions?

promise

Are you happier now than you were five months ago? 

I think I'm the same, not much have changed within 5 months.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with anyone? 

yes, tons of friends.

How many people do you trust with everything? 

I guess I trust people in a certain amount, but with everything? I don't think anyone fits the description properly. I could say my mom, but she judges certain things, "what is best for me", but in some way that keeps me from letting her in completely. I wanna learn and make mistakes on my own.

What was the last thing you drank?

Icea Tea

Is there anyone you want to come see you?

Aww yes! I'd love it if he'd come, but I don't think he even knows where I live.

A text would do, tho.

Name one thing you love about winter? 

being able to stay in bed and drink hot tea

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? 

having lots of hw to do.

What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?

grind in pain, I woke up thanks to my gastritis, yay!

Do you believe you can be friends with your ex? 

I guess it can be a bit awkward. I've never been with anyone, but the people I sort of 'hanged out with', I'm not friends with them.

Have you ever kissed the last person you sent a text message to? 

naah

Is there anybody that you wish you could fix things with?

not atm

Could you go out in public, looking like you do now?

I could, I probably wouldn't want to, tho

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?

not anymore, he sort of ruined things between us

Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I try to

Are you listening to music right now? 

nope, tv is on.

Who was the last person you talked to on facebook chat?

Juanka

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? 

everyone has

Have you laughed today? 

a little

Would you rather not eat or not sleep? 

not eat

What do you normally drink in the morning?

hot tea

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? 

depends on the person mainly, but not really. As long as you're not horny or anything like that, lol

Do you believe that all boys are the same?

of course not, everyones there own individual person

Did you drink any alcohol this week? 

nope

Do you like to cuddle?

when i need it

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?

no, i love meat.

Do you like your bed? 

yep, it's sort of new

Are you busy tomorrow? 

I got school

If YOU (not your parents) won a million dollars, what would be your first thought?

travel through europe like ASAP!

Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence? 

Claudio :)

Is it cute when guys/girl kiss you on your forehead? 

:O (this is freaking weird) but yeah, it's extremely cute. I spent my whole weekend wondering what does it means when a guy does that... lol

Would you prefer a small, intimate wedding proposal, or a big-scale, over-the-top proposal?D

small and intimate. I'd like for him to get ink or something, lol

 

What’s bothering you right now?

that I want to see you...

What were you doing at 12 am last night?

getting back home

 

You kissed someone today, didn’t you? 

nah, but surely thought about it

Do you have any plans for the weekend?

nope, it's sunday

Who is the first person you texted this morning?

I think it was Sindy

Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind? 

my mind always wins, but lately I'm trying to do what my heart wants

When was the last time you gave your number to someone? 

a couple of weeks ago

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something, but didn’t?

of course

What’s something you really want right now? 

him, sort of

Are you a mean person? 

at times, some people think i’m really mean, but i don’t think i’m that bad

Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with? 

if i did, i wouldn’t be speaking to them.

What’s your wallpaper on your phone? 

Oliver Sykes

What do you hear right now?

My life as Liz is on, so bye!

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

apparently