just another list.

Just to be annoying.

• A. Why my last relationship ended:
  I don't know if qualify it as a relationship, but I think I didn't like him enough, and neither did he, but I can only speak for myself, and I think I was just bored and he was cute.
• B. Favourite band:
  it's not like I could just pick one, but if I had to it would be Brand New ♥
• C. Who I like and why I like them:
  I can't say I like someone, liking is much much deeper than what I feel about anyone right now, or so I'd like to believe.
• D. Hardest thing I’ve ever been through:
  my mom and dad being together.
• E. My best friend:
  I don't know if I could call her my best friend, since I don't like the therm, but I think she's the closest one. She's the only person who has been able to reach to me this deep, I usually don't let people in.
• F. My favourite movie:
  I have a huge list, but if I had to pick just one it would be Forrest Gump, or Donnie Darko.
• G. Sexual orientation:
  I am sexually attracted to boys only, I guess that makes me straight.
• H. Do I smoke/drink?
  Not really, just when I'm out and try to feel different. I must admit I have been a bit lost lately, and letting myself loose has been my way out of it, not sure if it has helped in the sightless, tho.
• I. Have any tattoos or piercings?
  Yes, I have a red and blue swallow bird tattoo on the back of my neck, and a few ear piercings.
• J. What I want to be when I get older:
  I guess I am older, but not sure of exactly what I want to be.
• K. Relationship with my parents:
  they're both cool, my mom is very close to me, and yet we fight a lot.
• L. One of my insecurities:
  I don't feel like people like me, or that anyone ever could. From what I've learned, people always like somebody else better than me.
• M. Virgin or not?
  yes.
• N. Favourite place to shop at?
  Urban outfitters, forever XXI, mango, Zara....
• O. My eye colour:
  hazel.
• P. Why I hate school:
  I don't hate school, I just wish I could open much more to people, have more friends.
• Q. Relationship status as of right now:
  single as fuck.
• R. Favourite song at the moment:
  my ringtone: M83's Midnight City
• S. A random fact about myself:
  I hate animal figures at the bottom of pools.
• T. Age I get mistaken for:
  It used to be 17, now I'm not sure.
• U. Where I want to be right now:
  anywhere fun, maybe NYC I love that place.
• V. Last time I cried:
  a few moments ago, lately I've been crying a lot.
• W. Concerts I’ve been to:
  none important.
• X. What would you do if (…)?
  ?
• Y. Do you want to go to college:
  i already am.
• Z. How are you?
  alive.

I'm in  love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

- Augustus, “The Fault in our Stars” (John Green)

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to theirselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

La Tregua

A mí me cuesta ser cariñoso, inclusive en la vida amorosa. Siempre doy menos de lo que tengo. Mi estilo de querer es ése, un poco reticente, reservando, el máximo sólo para las grandes ocasiones. De modo que si siempre estuviera expresando el máximo ¿qué dejaría para esos momentos (siempre hay cuatro o cinco en cada vida, en cada individuo) en que uno debe apelar el corazón en pleno? También siento un leve resquemor frente a lo cursi, y a mí lo cursi me parece justamente eso: andar siempre con el corazón en la mano.

━ La Tregua. Mario Benedetti.

An atheist on a date.

In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. but they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.

just because I'm annoyed,

1.Who’s the last person you talked to about sex? 
who don't I talk to about sex?
2.Have you ever sat in the back of a police car? 
nope, never
3.Are you stubborn? 
very
4.If you took a drug test right now, would you pass? 
yep, 100% clean baby
5.Who was the last person to be on a bed with you? 
My newest dog- stuff animal who doesn't have a name yet.
6.Do you tend to hold a grudge? 
maybe, it depends
7.Who is the last person that pissed you off? 
this guy who just won't call me and he said he will. GOSH
8.Whats something that bothers you about girls? 
I don't think it's a gender thing.
9.What’s a fact about the last person that texted you? 
I don't remember who that was
10.Who sits in behind you in your math class? 
I don't have math anymore
11.Where is the biggest scar on your body? 
my surgery.
12.Have you ever been told you were amazing? 
nope.
13.Would you date someone who was addicted to drugs? 
depends on what kind of drugs he was into, and how bad it was.
14.When was the last time you fought with your parents? 
I don't remember
15.What was the last alcoholic beverage you drank? 
I drank beer for the first time this sat.
16.What would your last name be if you married the last person you texted?
Again, don't remember who that was.
17.Do you care if people hate you for no reason?
naaah, w/e.
18.Who was the last person to play with your hair? 
Tomas
19.Do you get along with girls? 
yep, I do
20.Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? 
I think it was my mom, so yeah
21.Who was the last person you kissed on the cheek? 
Tomas
22.Who are your last 4 txts from?
don't know where's my phone
23.Who was the last girl you talked to? 
in person, Tati. On the phone, Sindy
24.Do you know anyone who drinks a lot? 
I know a lot of people who do
25.Would you ever get plastic surgery? 
depends on the reason
26.Do you speak any other languages other than English? 
spanish is my first language
27.What was the last lie you told your mother?
I don't remember
28.Have you ever had to call the cops on someone?
nope
29.What was the last compliment you received? 
He said he liked my hair better now that is short
30.Have you talked to a bitch today? 
not really
31.Are your parentsdivorced? 
nope, they're together, but sometimes, I confess, I wish they were
32.Have you had sex today? 
never, baby
33.Do you judge​ people you don’​t know?​ 
who doesn't?
34.Are you a bad influ​ence?​ 
maybe
35.Is there anyone that’s in love with you right now? 
I would love it if that was the case, but no.
36.Would you ever live with any of your best friends? 
yeah, I am sort of going to in the next moth.
37.How many people in your life have you kissed?
sort of kissed two guys, one was one of my closest friends and the other guy was my crush since I was 12.
38.Are you photogenic? 
sometimes
39.Does anyone know a really deep and dark secret about you?
I don't know
40.Do you use birth control pills? 
nope, I'm not sexually active, sorry
41.When was the last time you went to a funeral? 
my grandma's like 3 or 4 years ago
42.Has one of your boyfriends best friends ever tried to get with you? 
no boyfriend
43.What do you receive the most compliments on? 
looks I guess?
44.Do you currently owe anyone money? 
nope
45.Would you ever marry anyone for their money? 
nope
46.Do you usually have a lot of drama in your life?
no, my life is pretty boring
47.Who do you think is the most attractive actor? 
Josh Durhamel or however you spell that
48.How old is the last person you kissed on the lips?
Tomas
49.Have you ever walked away from someone who was yelling at you? 
yep
50.Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? 
nope, not at all, I'm annoyed cause he hasn't called me yet ¬¬
51.What’s one thing you don’t like about yourself? 
how much of an insecure fuck I am
52.Have you told anyone that you missed them lately? 
nope, should I?

"You build your world around someone, and then what happens when he disappears? Where do you go – into pieces, into atoms, into the arms of another man? You go shopping, you cook dinner, you work odd hours, you make love to someone else on June nights. But you’re not really there, you’re someplace else where there is blue sky and a road you don’t recognize. If you squint your eyes, you think you see him, in the shadows, beyond the trees. You always imagine that you see him, but he’s never there. It’s only his spirit, that’s what’s there beneath the bed when you kiss your husband, there when you send your daughter off to school. It’s in your coffee cup, your bathwater, your tears. Unfinished business always comes back to haunt you, and a man who swears he’ll love you forever isn’t finished with you until he’s done." -Alice Hoffman

"That was the thing about words, they were clear and specific-chair, eye, stone- but when you talked about feelings, words were too stiff, they were this and not that, they couldn’t include all the meanings. In defining, they always left something out." -Janet Fitch