You'd think someone who'd been to medical school would be able to hear through a stethoscope that somebody was empty inside.

-Jodi Picoult

He was reaching for the pack of cigarrets,

and I felt how my fists almost breaks free to stop it,

he was desperate,

I could not take that away from him.

Through my window I had seen him for so long, how his face had changed. It didn't look that beautiful anymore, and I noticed the wrinkles that were forming like parenthesis around his mouth.

I remembered then, how I once dreamt of kissing his lips. Now they turned into half a smile, but it didn't touch his eyes.

He put the cigarrette in his mouth, held it tightly with his teeth. I felt how he broke free from my gaze, I hadn't realized it had been that strong. He blushed, and he was now looking at his feet. He looked so much older than he was.

When I first met him, I thought he was sixteen, so youthful, it was hard not to laugh when I was around him. I think it was fate, I was meant to meet him, but I was wrong to love at our first greet, it wasn't meant for us to be like that.

I felt in love with his smile, and the way he talks, and how words sound so much better when he spoke them. He was interesting and very good looking, a handsome criminal.

Thirteen months after that first encounter I found him in this state, this not so happy him, desperation was obviou sin his face, and the way he wore his arms around himself, trying to hold it together, I guess.

but I could only guess, he wouldn't talk about it, he wouldn't let me in. 

but it didn't mattered how much he tried to push me away, I was here to stay. I knew him so well, he was just like me. It felt like looking at myself in the mirror, and actually admiting defeat about how I felt. 

He actually broke my heart, more than once. 

they said I was stupid for letting him do that much to me, but I wanted him to do that, I wanted to be a part of his happines much more than I wanted my own. I just didn't realized that we both couldn't be happy.

He once had held my hand, and my heart it almost pumped out of my chest, red blood invaded my face and I was... happy, but it didn't meant the same to him as it meant to me. And he was part of me as I was his, just not in the same way. 

And now I was looking at his face for any sign that I wasn't wrong for letting him go like this. Without telling him, keeping it safe behind my lips, close to my soul. 

But I didn't found any sign of it, he was heart broken and messed up for someone else.

Four months ago, she had left him, and it made me feel sad, angry and hopeful.

I hated feeling like that, I hated her for doing that to him, and I hated fate for not making him for me. I wanted to say I hated him, but I could never ever hate him.

I took a step closer to him, and I knew he felt nervous and uncomfortable with my presence now that he knew that I was completely and irrevocably in love with him. Despite the hurt of his rejection, I held my breath and hugged him, for the last time. I took in the smell of his collar and hoped it would stay in my mind forever. He tried holding me back, but he didn't know if he should. I knew his every thought, I could read his face, his moves, his everything.

That's how I knew he knew I was in love with him, not because I have told him, but because he figured it out on his own. 

It took all my efforth not to cry while I kissed his lips, but I have to admit a few tears broke away and ran down my face. I smiled, half heartedly. He smiled back, that image should forever stay with me, haunting my dreams and making brighter my every morning.

I walked away, and then I noticed it was raining, maybe a sign, I hoped.

"It is not broken, but it sure has a crack"

 

Amarillo

Emptiness was all they could find
as the journey begins with the first breath of morning's air;
It passed through the lungs, expanding them
The heart marched with the voodoo drum
contagious,
repetetive,
overrated.
And the eyelids closed, taken by dreams
they burned with sunlight as truth filled in.
Fingertips ache with the ghost of a foreign touch,
It was there,
it still is.
Emptiness was all that's left.

A toast for a good year.

This is a list of all the good things that made my year ;)
(there's no order just as they come to my mind)




Dr. House

URL: Comunication first year ;)

  

My car (Suzuki Grand Vitara)

 My texting phone ;)

 Woodser concerts & Eucalipt Festival

Chuck Palahniuk's Invisible Monsters

Toshiba's laptop:f

Chris Ingle & Nevershoutnever

Fail blog

 

My blog

 

New Moon Movie

 Antigua Guatemala

Shit talkibg wutg Sindy

Facebook Gossip Crew

Uni. classes

Friday's value meals

Gray clothing

Skype midnight talk

Poetry

Making videos with Juancho, Bernardo & Andrea

Talkin' Heads Saloon

 

Zac Efron on Seventeen Again

 

 Burger King's Bk Burger Shots

 Photography

  Jay Baruchel (I can not explain why, but I'm head over heals for this guy)

  

The places where you want to be...

Ever since I was a little kid,
I've always liked speaking english better than spanish, even if spanish if my first language.
I also want to go to a University outside my country,
I want my kids to grow up outside this country.

Here's the place I want to call home,

Long Beach, California

 

It isn't broken, but it sure has a crack.

His kiss, it brought me back to places I've never beenHis touch burned my skin in places that will never show
My nevers were impossible to control

My coarse shelter, 
my own secret place,
was to be shared with him.
I didn't have any other choice, at least I told myself that.
So I let him in,
not knowing it only meant one thing.

A trapt, a hopeless feeling
"head over heels"; I heard them calling it,
maybe so.

My heart beats they weren't mine anymore,
my breaths weren't of air but of his fragance
"Lloyd I'm ready to be heartbroken" was playing,
and little did I know it was meant to be.

I woke up from my nightmare, 
or was it a dream that might never come true?

Where do I belong?
the air escaped through my mouth as I pronounced this words
I close my eyelids hoping to go back to sleep and never woke up.
Dreaming of you was much much nicier.

 

Lloyd, I'm ready to be heartbroken.

The tear burned down a path on her face,
and landed on her brand new jeans
she hadn't cried in such a long time
all that felt new,
all those experiences that had cracked her heart now were present.
All the pain seemed unbearable,
closing her breath,
the joy entirely, however small, felt smaller in comparison.
Her breath had shortened,
her arms around her knees couldn't hold her,
she felt small
And her trembling hands couldn't errase the shame of the tears in her face.
she hated weakness.

Red puffy eyes that burned as if they were being opened for the very first time,
she closed not only her eyes but her heart.
she didn't want to feel anything anymore.
but little mattered what she wanted or not.

 

Books written for girls.

I've heard of love stories all my life,
not only in Disney movies or in children's books
but I have never seen it with my own yes,
or felt it with my own heart, or brain
whichever you preffer

Despite my circumstances,
I have never lost hope to find you some place out there,
but to be honest, I have never actually looked for you.

I feel like I don't belong anywhere,
like I was made to be alone,
but there's still a part of me,
a small part,
hoping to be saved.
Saved by love.
as if such thing actually could happen in real life, right?

Please make me feel like I belong,
somewhere,
someday,
with someone.

This is not an other love letter.

Dear Friend,
I hope I can still call you that when you're done reading this,
I'm sorry, I hate you.
I can't find any other word that fits better for my feelings towards you.
I hate you yet I care for you.
It's unexplainable how deeply you annoy me, and how many times I'd like you to be gone.
I hate 90% of you,
the other 10% is a well mixed feeling of care and laughter.

I hate the way you seem to find us as an item,
we're not the same,
we'll never be.

I hate how you find a way to make everything that is mine your own.
I hate you, I hate sharing with you.
I hate how you feel that you're good enough,
when I see right through you,
don't you feel the hate in my words?

I hate you,
and yet I... I care for you.
I can't call it love, I can't love someone like you.

I believe is better if we take our own road now,
I want to grow apart from you,
and whenever I want to do that,
you harras me, 
you call me,
and you make me feel bad for you.

I know there's a lot of I in this letter,
but I don't know how you feel.
I hope you hate me too
no, I know you do.

Please let me save what's little care for you that its inside me.
Please, just let me go.

The Sanchez's List

Here's an other list of things about me you never asked for.

-My complete name is Viacely Sánchez Carías,
my name is pronounced: bee-ah-se-leeh
it's an italian name Viaccieli, and it means 'the way to heaven'
I would prefer it if you just call me Via.

-I have a bunny rabbit named Donnie, after Donnie Darko.
And before him, I had one named Frank, for the same reason.

-I love making people laugh, and I'm constantly laughing at something which is not at all funny, I have a dorky laugh, though.

-If I don't know you, and I talk a lot! it means I'm high on sugar :)

-My religion beliefs, can be considered as 'agnostic', I'm very skeptical about everything around me. I really don't have a problem with the idea of God, is more with religion standars, and religious people with their hipocressy; that doesn't mean I go around praising the devil and snorting lines. I respect your beliefs, and I would expect you to respect mine, Please! don't try to shove your religion down my throath. 

- Whenever I'm quet, it doesn't mean that I'm upset or anything. I just like some time for myself to think.

- If I am quiet towards you, it actually means I am intimidated by your presence.

-If I blush on your presence, pat yourself in the back 'cause you must be very attractive.

-Christofer Drew Ingle is my dream boy and the most amazing human been on earth, I want to marry him and have cute babies :)

- I listen to all kinds of music (but reggeaton and anything in spanish or english pop) usually whatever is aurally pleasing or suits my mood.

- tats and plugs usually turn me on :)

- Interesting people are my kind of people.

- I am easily annoyed, and mostly by people who type like this: "C YA" "LOB YA"

-I apreciate it when people use correct grammar and spelling.

- I bite the inside of my lower lip, a lottt.

- I like hairy cute things.

- I only have one older brother, but we are NOTHING alike.

-Grey is my favorite color, I know is a shadow but it is still my favorite color.

-I like reading, I could spend my whole day drinking milk & reading :)

-Noisy eaters is my BIGGEST pet peeve.

-I am real nice, but if you get on my wrong side I can be a real bitch.

-I feel uncomfortable when someone I'm not familiar with hugs me or stands too close.

-PLEASE! do not stare at me if you don't know me, only that can make more uncomfortable than an unasked hug :S

-Alcohol, cigarrets and drugs held no interest to me, so keep your stuff to yourself, thanks.

- I watch tons of Dr. House, even if I had already watched that episode, I'll watch it again.

-I live with my brother, both of my parrents and my bunnie rabbit, Donnie.

-I'm really easy to talk to, I like listening to people and I'm very understanding. But I have an opinion too.

-I don't really like the word 'best friend' because I don't like being anyone's anything, but I think I have a few close friends and they mean a whole lot more than you can imagine to me.

-I am a very loyal person, as long as you are to me.

-I have the hability of getting over people more easily than most, if for some reason (most likely it is your fault) I decide to stop carrying for you, I WILL, and I will never again care for you, and I'm not kidding. I just can't, I might like you again, but I NEVER MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE.

-I don't actually like that many people, I just nothing them, I'm indifferent to their existance.

I am a reserved person, and I don't like sharing with people.

-I am BROOTALY honest, and I might not apologize if my ideas ofend you.

-I can be very very naive. I think the best of people despite the facts.

-I freak out on crowds, and get very annoyed.

-It may not look so, but I am actually looking for my better half, but I am too scarred of getting hurt that I won't show my emotions.

- i find it hard to save up money.

-I have an inmense list of books to read, I hope I get the time to do so.

-I like to write, as you can see. I feel more comfortable writting in english, tho.

-I dislike conceited, arrogant people. If you think too much of yourself I'm probably not going to waste my time on you.

-Don't think you have me all figured out, I have plenty of things about me you're just not gonna get it that easy. I have a few things under my sleeve ;)

-I want to learn french, it's a really sexy language.

Not because I consider myself sexy or want to be.

-I feel I'm a little above average when it comes to intelect, sorry about that.

-I contradict myself a lot.

-I won't share music with you, if I do, then feel special.

-Oh! if you know better for youself, don't talk shit about my friends to me, I might go for your yugular.

-if I like you, in any way, I tend to be very sweet and carring.

-I don't cook, at all.

-I rather sleep than watch tv.

-TV, i only watch: Dr.House, Big Bang Theory, vampire diaries :], and any Discovery Channel documentary I find interesting.

-People usually ask me to slow my pace when walking :S

-I also talk too fast and am sort hard to understand.

Epitaph

 Do not stand at my grave and weep.

 

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

 

Mary Elizabeth Frye