via's playlist

Things that have made me smile lately.
No aparent order, just as they pop into my head :)


1. Chris Ingle<3
2. Woodser
3. Chuck Palahniuk
4. Hugging some highschool friends around campus 
5. 'Gossip' inbox
6. Gerry's way of hitting the speedometer to 180 km/h
7. Sindy's unlimited texting
8. Invisible Monsters
9. Editing videos with Carol, Wini, Ale & Barbie
10. "I'm sorry I pooped your sandwich"




I'll post some more laterrrr :)

I lost myself in us

I was fine before you
I was fine on my own
I didn't need you
And I still don't
But you've grown this need to know everything
to be with me
I don't mind you, most days
But you're stealing vital parts of myself
You don't know who you are without me,
I define you.
I do this, you do it too.
You are a copy mechanism design to be accepted,

What I like
what I do
what I think
what I read
what I learn
what I love

what I feel
what I say,
it used to be my own,
not it's ours.

Find out what you're afraid of and go live there.

-Chuck Palahniuk

I know, I'm kind of obssessed with his brilliant mind.
I just finished reading Invisible Monsters,
it might have changed my life.


A few months ago the idea of 
'doing what I want just because I can' crossed my mind,
this book just made me thought of it more,
but not just doing what I want,
what scarres me the most.

I can't believe such little things like fears can hold my life back,
I'm scared of looking at you,
if I did whatever I want,
I would just spend my days looking, observing, learning of you.

If I had it my way, I would just go sit next to you and start talking,
but i'm scared.

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open"

I was thought to believe I want the things I'm supposed to want,

but why on earth would I like to live in a house, settle down and have unhappy babies?

It's society's way to keep you from doing whatever you want to do.

It's scarry to go the other way and do everything we're not supposed to.

I am not supposed to want to do some things,

but fuck that,

It's my life, my way.

"...how your being born makes your parents god. you owe them your life, and they can control you. 

"Then puberty makes you Satan," he says, "just because you want something better."

I'm sorry mom,

but I think I might just do it my way,

this is not your fault,

I just want to have a mind of my own...

"Whatever you're thinking, a million other folks are thinking. whatever you do, they're doing, and none of you is responsible. All of you is a cooperative effort."

Do the things that scare you the most. 

Been there, done that

Not over it,
yet.
Don't think I'll ever be to be honest.

Hair color is the only thing about myself I can change whenever the hell I want to :D
and that makes me smile.

List of hair colors I've had:
I was born a blond
Then my hair naturaly turned light brown a color I've had ever since I was 8.
When I was 14, I dyed my hair blond in the back and brown  in the bangs.
Then,  black with magenta
then hot pink
purple
blond
Pink hair extensions



blond - brown peekaboo   
No I've made it: platinum blond + black + lighter brown 

love ittt! :DDDD  

Hearts, necks and other things that break

“I try to talk to you, but I don't know what to say. 

I am afraid you don't want me to say anything. So I don't. 

But inside of me there are words waiting to come out.

And tell you how I feel-like how I miss you. 

And how I love you despite my broken heart.

And how I need you in my life. 

And especially how much I want you.

But those words may forver stay in my heart-locked inside.

Sometimes I wonder if there are words locked inside you too... but I'll never know.”

 

-unknwon

In a jar

Take it off,
the voice ordered,
It's fake, it's all a lie. -She repeted
as the whispers of thousand tounges invaded her toughts,
to keep the truth were it belonged, away from her.
A defense mechanism to keep it away.
But she still felt it in her heart,
it ached
it beat unevenly
Her lungs were doing all the hard work

Close your hear - it commanded again,
helpless those words were
Haven't you heard?


"You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see,
but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."


And she felt it,
oh yes, she did.

 

This is not a love song.

You smile,
I did the same in response
As the blood filled my cheecks
hot red invaded me.
I looked down at my feet,
embarrasment and certain unexplainable joy filled the emptiness inside me.
And then it was gone,
like a summer romance, gone in the blink of an eye,
to never be seen again.

With midnight comes inspiration.

I'm bored,
Desperate,
Entertain me they whisper
It's not a heartache,
I know of those.
And the lights went out,
and my eyes were closed,
and the blink went away as the second hand moved slowly
The lights were bright again,
they blinded me.
With  painful realization of its existance inside me
filled the air like smoke,
leave a trace in everything they touched
And I was touched, forever
Changed to never be the same again.

The bright side of your bad day.

Hey i think you're cute
would you like to be my new best friend?
we can talk for hours or just lay in bed
you're just the kind of kid i could grow old with
so won't you walk with me to the park up the road 

I told you that i'd be right back
you said that i'll be the judge of that
'cause see boys they have a tendency of running from me as fast as they can, I don't know why
and i just laughed and asked if you'd like a coke or some sort of assorted beverage from the diner up the road
if so, you should walk with me
feel free to hold my hand
feel free to kiss me on the cheek even though i'd prefer the lips

hey i think you're groovy
would you wanna see a movie with me?
we can sit in uncomfortable seats and eventually
i'll get the nerve up to put my arm around you
can i put my arms around you?
'cause i'd sure like to
it'll be like an episode of boy meets world
except without the commercials
and i'm just fine with that
how about you? 

I like the way you talk
i like your died black hair
i love your halfass accent you stole from the foreign movies
i like your pretty eyes
and how you're afraid of the dark
well i am too, 

So would you like to take a walk with me
through a well-lit park just up the block?

i'll be the bright side of your bad day
i'll be the bright side of your bad nights
i'll be the bright side of your bad day
if you'll be mine.

Lyrics to Hey by Backseatgoodbye,

I absolutely adore him :) 

0.17

A red light,
what she had been waiting for
The stop,
the tears burning her eyes.
The blur,
made the lights confusing.
Green,
she started movign again,
time seemed endlessly.
Breathing was getting harder.
The sobings scaped her armor.
She's been fighting to keep it together.
Lost the battle.
Hit the breaks before the crash,
the wall.
Oh, it's already too late.