The monotony of life has taken over.

I've got nothing to say but I don't feel lonely anymore,

nothing has changed,

I'm still alone,

nobody rides in my car with me,

nobody shares my bedroom,

nor calls me at 3 am just to ask what I'm doing,

I don't even expect my phone to ring,

I still type and watch tv at the same time,

I don't have anyone who wants to watch the same movies I do,

or listen to music with me, wether they like it or not,

wether I like it or not.

I don't sit and wait for something magic to happen and save me from this boredoom,

I'm at peace with what my life has turned out to be.

or maybe I'm done fightine with it.

 

Losing your mind is not a luxury for the middle class.

Dear Holly, I don't have much time. I don't mean literally, I mean you're out buying ice cream and you'll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn't to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It's to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful... literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you're sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you'll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I'm a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I'm just one chapter in yours. There'll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. 

P.S. I will always love yo. 

 -PS I love you (2007)

This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story.

It's official. I'm in love with Summer. 

I love her smile. I love her hair. I love her knees. I love how she licks her lips before she talks. I love her heart-shaped birthmark on her neck. I love it when she sleeps. 

I hate her crooked teeth. I hate her 1960s haircut. I hate her knobby knees. I hate her cockroach-shaped splotch on her neck. I hate the way she smacks her lips before she talks. I hate the way she sounds when she laughs.

-Tom.

hush hush

I sat there through the entire conversation,

My eyes were strongly focused on the nothingness in front of me

I could hear the hush of their vain conversation,

they talked about their husbands, their cooking skills, their housekeepers and beautiful hair-dos.

I sat there, lost in translation,

just an other piece of furniture,

for I don't belong in their world, if their's at all.

I sat there, alone, untill the small hand finally reached it's goal setting me free.

Stardust

Why would you do that? -Her voice broke,

she was demanding an answer from me,

tears sundenly caught her eyes,

I never meant to hurt her this much,

I didn't know I had the power to do it.

I felt how my eyes got blurry and a warm tear running down my face,

I held myself together,

I was taught not to show weakness.

I couldn't hold her gaze much longer,

it broke my heart to see the cracks in her face that had been caused by me.

I never meant to hurt her,

I wish I could take it back.

And the whole reason for my existance was there, in front of me,

sitting in a chair facing my hospital bed,

and this bandages were hiding the stardust that will forever be with me,

it was scarlet red, I remembered. 

Her gaze was locked in my face,

I could feel it,

still waiting for my reply,

I couldn't face her,

I never meant to hurt her.

I couldn't answer,

I didn't want to,

nor did I know what to say.

I couldn't hurt her anymore than I al ready had.

If I told her exactly what I felt,

who I was,

would she still love me? 

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, but it's better if you do

Waiting for your call,

waiting for your call 

waiting for your call,

it's midnight,

waiting for your call,

waiting for your call,

waiting for your call,

summer is over,

waiting for your call,

waiting for your call,

no copy-paste,

waiting for your call,

I'm still here,

waiting for your call,

I pick up the phone, 

dead,

waiting for your call,

that will might never come,

waiting for your call,

waiting for your call

...

If your heart aches, a meteorite is approaching the earth.

Your existance gives me some kind of homesickness,

which doesn't necesarily inplies the word home.

I ache for you.

I'm sick of being here,

alone,

boring me,

so safe.

"Find out what you're afraid of and go live there"

-Chuck Palahniuk

The thing is, I don't even know what I'm afraid of.

I need a new hair style, a new me.

And I've been hiding in all of this nonesences that give me some kind of peace,

leaves me out of the bunch,

saves me from feeling common

And this mess I am keeps crawling inside me,

and this mess I've made, it's soon to come out.

Everybody is free to wear sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life.
The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen.

 

Anywhere with you.

If I shoot my facebook page down

If I throw my phone into the sea

If I set my car on fire

And moved into the woods,

I know you'd be the one looking for me,

I'm wrong, you would have al ready found me.

All I want to do is be mended by you, i don't want to be confused, i just want to find you.

I found this around on the web on someone's blog, I do not own any of the rights to it.

I don't even know the author's name.

it remains unknown to me.

"I do not care what car you drive, where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this years cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words the flutter from your extraordinary mind."

I feel so 2004-2005

It's for nothing special but the music that was played that year,

I miss going to shows or listening to Takinhg Back Sunday on my way to school and thinking it was the coolest thing ever.

I still feel identified with some of the lyrics,

and this past week I've listened to:

Fall Out Boy': Take This To Your Grave

The Ataris: So Long Astoria

 

 Taking Back Sunday: Tell All Your Friends

which had this quote that's been running around my head all day long: "To hell with you and all your friends", ha

 

Blink 182: Take Off Your Pants And Jacket

 

 I actually don't think all of this albums were released in any of those years, but I've never been the kind of person who listen music according to the year it was made. But this songs identify those years of my youth, and I still can relate to some of the feelings they brought me, and still bring me to this day.

It reminds me of all of the friends I made thanks to music, and all of them to whom I don't speak anymore, past away or simply never heard of them ever again. But those were good years, they made me the person I am today, and I thank all the bands that were part of that time in my life, 'cause they were there to bring me up, relate to my feelings, give me understanding of situations I couldn't control or people, or simple enough brought me down even lower :)

And I miss those days like you can only miss a memory, they won't come back and wouldn't want them to, I just want to hold them in my memory forever.

This isn't about the boys, it's about the music. But speaking of one it's speaking of the other.

 

Valetine's Massacre

This is my favorite part from Grey's Anathomy sixth season, fourteen episode aired around valentine's day.

This is a conversation between Dr. Miranda Bailey and the anesthesiologist who asked her out:

- Congratulations. You know,I thought we'd lost him, but you managed to...
- I can't talk to you.
- Right. Um...
- Look, I'm... I'm sorry.
- I thought you and I might get to...
- I can't talk to you. You make me nervous. I... forget what I... and I... say things I don't want to say.And I can't j...... I just go stupid. I... I like you. That's all. There.
- All right.
- And so if you want to go to dinner, fine. I will show up and try to talk.
- How's tomorrow night?
- Fine. I might have surgery.
- Well, I... I might join you.
- How many stars you think you possess?

 

 

 

This sort of reminds me of how I act around people I like :S lol.