I don't want to be lonely anymore :(

blog

Well, this blog isn't supposed to be read by anyone I know in real life or something like that, because it's my escape. I let things out here I would never let people know.

Some people have the link of some notes & stuff, but I don't expect them to be any more interested than to read that one note or just look around, I hope they don't read much, I would hate to know someone out there knows exactly what's going through my head, like when someone mentions they've looked at my tumblr I feel extremely embarrased and giddy, lol (what a great combination, right?) well, yeah, I'd hate if I knew someone out there could read right through me.

This post comes to an other matter, I have no car today 'cause it's in repair, and I just finished watching the social network movie on dvd (yupp, pirates). But anyway, I was thinking about how when you first meet a person you can imagine who they are and pick up on some characteristics of their own and you know, picture somewhat kind of person they are. But after a while you start talking, really talking, and get to deeper matters, like their dreams, families, hopes, if they've ever been in love. And when we hit that topic is when everything changes. I've never been kissed nor had a real boyfriend, which completely sucks me being 20 and all. And when I get to that point with a person, everything changes, they don't see me the same way.

I've read somewhere this statement and it seems to fit the profile: "if you have sex you're a slut, if you don't you're a priutt". After people know this little fact about me, I'm no longer a regular person, I'm a boring dull one. And I fucking hate that.x

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME GET WHAT I WANT.

When Harry met Ron

Like a proud father, David Heyman, the producer of the Harry Potter films, reached for a box of photographs when a visitor asked him about the young stars of the history-making franchise.

 

“They are not my own children, obviously, but they are like nephews and nieces or perhaps godchildren, and I feel really protective of them,” Heyman said as he sat in his office at the converted aviation factory here that serves as the movie set for the Potter series.

“Here, look at this one — this is a photo taken the day the boys met. No one’s really seen this before. They were taking a little walk together to get know one another…”

The black-and-white snapshot showed Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint as chubby-cheeked adolescents strolling side by side, their eyes cast down to their shadows. Heyman took the photo in 2000.

 

“Kev was like my brother – we would have done anything for each other. We said that whoever died first, the other one had to wear a pink dress with green spots to the funeral – and we shook on it. It was mainly his idea and the more I think about it, I’m sure Kevin knew something was going to happen. I looked for the exact dress but couldn’t find one anywhere. I eventually picked up the green one in Primark and bought the pink pop socks to make it look even sillier. It’s what Kev would have wanted. Kev told his whole family about the pact, so I couldn’t back out. I had a word with him at the graveside and asked if he liked the color I’m sure I could hear laughter coming out of the ground. Kev was a true hero and someone I’m proud to call my best mate.”

note

rules

by Jac Vanek

1. always catch the clock at 11:11

2. write handwritten letters

3. love recklessly

4. find beauty in everything

5. make a stranger smile

6. notice the little things

7. give someone a real mixtape

8. dance in the rain

9. never give up on yourself

10. don't be afraid to come alive

11. the answers are everywhere

12. you are invincible

Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me. 

--Meredith Grey

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

-- Alex Karev

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need. 

-- Meredith Grey

You wanna play the game?

it's like this:

you play around, you have fun, you share secrets, you tell stories, you cry on each other's shoulders, you hold hands, you think about forever.

But you don't fall in love, because the first one who does, loses.

“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.”

—	Marilyn Monroe

When you start to know someone, all their physical characteristics start to disappear. You begin to dwell in their energy, recognize the scent of their skin. You see only the essence of the person, not the shell. That’s why you can’t fall in love with beauty. You can lust after it, be infatuated by it, want to own it. You can love it with your eyes and your body but not your heart. And that’s why, when you really connect with a person’s inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.
Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

you.

Gazing: Looking at something shows an interest in it, whether it is a painting, a table, or a person. When looking at a person normally, the gaze is usually at eye level or above. The gaze can also be defocused, looking at the general person. Looking at a person’s mouth can indicate that you’d like to kiss them. Looking at sexual regions indicate a desire to make sweet, sweet love to them. Looking up and down at a whole person is usually sizing them up, either as a potential threat or as a sexual partner (take note to where the gaze lingers…) Looking at their forehead or not at them indicates disinterest. This may also be shown by defocused eyes where the person is “inside their head”, thinking about other things. It’s difficult to conceal a gaze as we are particularly adept at identifying exactly where other people are looking. 

Glancing: Glancing at something can betray a desire for that thing, for example, glancing at the door can indicate a desire to leave. Glancing at a person can indicate a desire to talk to them. It can also indicate a concern for that person’s feeling when something is said that might upset them. Glancing may indicate a desire to gaze at something or someone where it is forbidden to look for a prolonged period. 

Staring: Staring is generally done with eyes wider than usual, prolonged attention to something and with reduced blinking. It generally indicates particular interest in something or someone. Staring at a person can indicate shock and disbelief, particularly after hearing unexpected news. When the eyes are defocused, the person’s attention may be inside their heads and what they’re staring at may be of no significance. (Thus, the embarrassing moments that can follow afterwards). Prolonged eye contact can be aggressive, affectionate, or deceptive. Staring at another’s eyes is usually more associated with aggressive action. A short stare, with eyes wide open and then back to normal indicates surprise. The correction back to normal implies that the person would like to stare more, but knows that it’s impolite. 

Following: The eye will naturally follow movement of any kind. If the person is looking at something of interest, then they’ll naturally keep looking at it. They also follow neutral or feared things in case the movement turns into a threat. 

Squinting: Narrowing of a person’s eyes can indicate evaluation, perhaps considering that something told to them is not true (or not fully so). It can similarly indicate uncertainty. Squinting can also be used by liars who don’t want the other person to detect their deception. When a person thinks about something and doesn’t want to look at the internal image, they may squint involuntarily. Lowering of eyelids is not really a squint but can have a similar meaning. It can also indicate sleepiness. Lowering eyelids whilst looking at the other person can be a part of a romantic and suggestive cluster, and may be accompanied with tossing back the head and puckering the lips. 

Blinking: Blink rate tends to increase when people are thinking more. This can be an indication of lying as the liar has to keep thinking about what they are saying. Realizing this, they may also force their eyes open and appear to stare. Blinking can also indicate rapport, and people who are connected often black at the same rate.  A single blink can signal surprise that the person does not quite believe what they see. Rapid blinking blocks vision and can be an arrogant signal, saying “I’m too good to even look at you.” Rapid blinking also flutters the eyelashes and can be a coy and romantic invitation. 

Winking: A deliberate gesture that often suggests conspiratorial schemes. Winking can also be a slightly suggestive greeting and is a reminiscent of a small wave of the hand.
Closing: Closing the eyes shuts out the world. Sometimes, when people are talking, they close their eyes. This is an equivalent to turning away so eye contact can be avoided and any implied request for the other person to speak is effectively ignored. Visual thinkers may close their eyes, sometimes when talking, so they can better so the internal images without external distractions.

5 Life Lessons From High School Movies

by Matt McDaniel

THE BREAKFAST CLUB (1985)
“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.” - Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez)

HEATHERS (1989)
“If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.” - Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (1999)
“Just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean you can treat people like they don’t matter.” - Cameron James (Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

MEAN GIRLS (2004)
“Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter… All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” - Cady Heron (Lindsay Lohan)

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF (1986)
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” - Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick)

Fuck society. Fuck normality. Get piercings. Get tattoos. Do drugs. Get high. Drink ‘till you pass out. Have sex. Love with all your heart. Play the music loud. Live your fucking life. Fuck what people expect of you. Do what makes you happy.

"When you develop an infatuation for someone you always find a reason to believe that this is exactly the person for you. It doesn’t need to be a good reason. Taking photographs of the night sky, for example. Now, in the long run, that’s just the kind of dumb, irritating habit that would cause you to split up. But in the haze of infatuation, it’s just what you’ve been searching for all these years."

A list of things about me you never asked for.

Why?

because why the hell not?

plus I'm bored and inspired :)

1. My mom used to read me The Picture of Dorian Gray for bedtime when I was a child.

yup, if you don't know what it is about, well it's about a young man who faces that someday he might not be beautiful anymore, he sells his soul to the devil to stay young forever, only if he kept a picture of himself. Well he grows sick of people dying after decades and ends up destroying the picture and dying of old age (:

yep, my mommy read that to me, lol

2. I love hugging people taller than me, makes me feel small and stuff.

I absolutely adore when someone's hands are way bigger than me, and putting our hands against each others.

3. Awkward hugs

4. Hot Chai Tea early in the morning

5. Midnight texting or 3am calls

6. I don't like chocolate or candy as much as I like salty stuff

7. Singing badly along loud music while driving

8. Quoting movies (Mean Girls, Hangover, etc) or South Park

9. Inside jokes that make no sense at all to other people 

10. Forsmpring.me questions or tumblrask saying how wonderful my blog is (yep I'm giddy)

11. Random iTunes playlists

12. Mix cds made for me!

13. Staying up really late to talk to friends, when conversations are nice

14. Boys with tattoos and piercings (mostly plugs)

15. I have nothing against Lady Gaga, but it's her fans that annoy me a whole lot, she's not that original, she's a product. And I refuse to watch her videos.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?'`

I don't think that's something you can answer, it's rethorical. It's a statement. Anyway I'm going to comment on it, I think it's a two way thing, you're never alone, I will quote C. Palahniuk to explain a little bit further: "nothing about me is original, I am the conbined effort about everybody I've ever known"
and it's sort of true, you're not an original and unic snow flake, you were trained by society to think a certain way, whatever you think a thousand people have thought about it before you. And my decitions, I was trained to want them that way, it's not an isolated act of my own creation, I don't do it alone.

knock yourself out, x

She talked softly and thoughtfully, like she was telling me a secret, and I leaned in toward her, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that we must kiss, that we ought to kiss right now on the dusty orange couch with its cigarette burns and its decades of collected dust. And I would have: I would have kept leaning toward her until it became necessary to tilt my face so as to miss her ski-slope nose, and I would have felt the shock of her so-soft lips. I would have. But then she snapped out of it.

--Looking for Alaska - John Green

are you planning to get any more tattoos?

sure, I mean, not in any time soon. I plan on getting them in the few years to come. I want a feather or something on my left side, like in my ribs. I want to get something in my wrists, and a colorful flowers on my ancles. But that's about it for now, I don't know if I'm into heavily tattooed bodies, nor if I want that for myself.

knock yourself out, x